Living in Texas

Jeff Foxworthy on living in Texas …

If someone in a Lowe’s store offers you assistance and they don’t work there… you may live in Texas.
(what…they don’t do this everywhere?)

If you’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time… you may live in Texas .
(duh – what else would you wear on a fall morning?) 

If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number… you may live in Texas .
(yup – and not too long ago)

If ‘Vacation’ means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend… you may live in Texas .
(nah – we’re already south of Dallas)

If you measure distance in hours… you may live in Texas .
(yup)

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once… you may live in Texas .
(yup) 

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked… you may live in Texas .
(nope – we lock everything too)

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them… you may live in Texas.
(yup) 

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph –you’re going 80 and everybody’s passing you… you may live in Texas .
(yup – doing the speed limit can get you killed)

If you find 60 degrees ‘a little chilly’… you may live in Texas .
(yup – hence the parka and shorts)

If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your Texas friends… you definitely live in Texas.
(yup – copied this post from a cousin, who copied it from a friend… we’re definitely living in Texas) 

God Bless Texas!

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